Duct for cover! Image: The Black Tape Project/Instagram
It's the year 2018 and the humble, handy household item duct tape has reinvented itself as a thing of luxe fashion. Turns out there's a lot more you can do with these buggers than sealing boxes and shutting off Trump.
Miami-based fashion brand Black Tape Project — aptly named, of course — had models walk the ramp in something they're calling the duct tape bikini. And it is exactly what it sounds like.
These bikinis are basically strips of duct tape strategically placed to create an ensemble that's equal parts art and craft, and in our humble opinion, no part fashion.
They are very stylish, we must add, and have everything from shimmery gold to monotones — as per the duct tape variety available at your nearest departmental store — and come in various styles too, from the one-shoulder crop-top bikini to the cross-bodied strippy bikini.
But here's the downside. Even though these might be the most affordable fashion item ever to have been designed, you CANNOT even so much as attempt sporting one if you're not bikini waxed.
Apart from that, you cannot wear them on your own, like you really need help, even if it is from a kid. Just tell 'em it's for a science project you're doing to prove the effects of gravity and the expansion and contraction of body muscles on duct tapes. But more importantly, they're obviously not re-wearable (there goes the affordability out the window), and the after-party will look like the play area at a kindergarten.
Which brings us to our final thumbs-down point: Stay away if you're even mildly OCD. We say this for your own good. One crooked tapeline and you will be compelled to re-do the whole thing. It's really not worth the mental trauma.
The duct tape bikini what you see online vs when it finally arrives GIF: Giphy
We wonder what the Black Tape Project was thinking? I mean, isn't it enough that bikini fashion already ignores plus-size women, now we have a product that ignores people with OCD, too? We want to rip you apart TBH, but we can't for obvious reasons.
Duct tapes can seal most cracks, but not all cracks. Peace out! GIF: Giphy