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Are you being stashed in your relationship?

Is your boo keeping your relationship a secret? It's time you got a lowdown on this damaging new dating trend

Kaushani Banerjee 21 August 2017, 9:43 PM
If your partner is a stasher, it's time you stashed him/her out of your life

If your partner is a stasher, it's time you stashed him/her out of your life Image: Thinkstock

The tangled web of modern dating just got more complicated. Relationship experts have spotted a cruel, new trend on the rise called 'stashing'. We know, we know. You've probably been ghosted, haunted, cushioned and bread-crumbed. But being stashed is a completely different thing. So, here's what you need to know.

According to The Sun, stashing may happen when you and your beloved are seeing each other regularly. You've had them as your plus one at parties, gone ahead and introduced them to your friends, colleagues and parents. Heck, you've even tagged them on Facebook at all the restaurants you've dined at and checked-in at all the movies you've seen seen together. But your boo just won't do the same. Sounds familiar?

These are the signs that you are being stashed by your SO:

No show for friends and family

You've never been introduced to any of his or her friends. They've hung out with all your BFFs but you barely know his friends. They always lie about who they are with, especially when parents call. In fact, the closest you've got to knowing his or her circle is by stalking your bae's Facebook profile.

Radio silence

They've never posted a picture of the two of you on social media. And the first social media mention is always a big deal! You always tag them on the memes and those cute cat videos but they never tag you on any post ever.

No public display of affection or acknowledgement

When both of you are out together, your bae ignores colleagues or friends you bump into. They're always trying to avoid certain restaurants or malls because someone will spot you. And it makes you wonder if your SO is embarrassed by being seen with you in public. They always tell you that’s not true, but it's slowly taking a toll on your confidence.

Excuses, excuses, excuses

When you confront them about the secrecy, they dodge their way around with excuses such as 'I don't have many friends', 'I’m not close to my family', 'I want you all to myself'. They may even claim that they have awful friends or you may not like their parents. But know that these are just excuses to keep you away from knowing his or her true self.

Points finger at you

Finally, they play the blame game and accuse you of being obsessed with Instagram and Snapchat (who isn't?). They turn the tables on you and make you feel wrong when you confront them for being flaky. They bring up all your mistakes and make it seem like it's your fault. You realise that they have more info on you than you do.

There could be a number of reasons for this brutal behaviour. If you're currently being stashed, it's time to take a step back and talk to your partner. Cut to the chase and find out exactly what's going on. But if your boyfriend or girlfriend continues to keep your relationship a secret, it's seriously time to move on. It's not worth being in the background.

Read more:

5 things to remember before you move in with bae

The lessons I learnt from dating Mr Wrong

Run before you get spooked by a serial ghoster

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