So, we finally meet Image: Thinkstock
It's a match! Start chatting.
That's how it all begins on Tinder, but then it's a full-blown obstacle race up to that first date. Chatting with a potential date (and perhaps potential boyfriend) is all you will get to figure out if you even want to go on that date.
You will spot several red flags along the way, and yeah if they are too stark, it's game over for him. But we want to talk about the boxes he needs to check before he can make it to the hot seat. 'Nuff with the dealbreakers, here's a list of dealmakers.
He should make you laugh, but not in an uncomfortable way
First dates are awkward, Tinder dates even more so. So a guy with a little sense of humour is a great start. If you're giggling at his witty puns then that's great, but if his sexual innuendos are making you laugh uncomfortably, then bail.
He should be just the right amount of pushy
While we are on the awkwardness page, believe us when we say that it is as much a task for him as it is for you. So if he is being a bit pushy — insisting on that coffee or trying to sell on that movie — don't be put off by it. However, there should be a balance. If you specifically tell him you will have a late night at work, and he still buys that ticket (which means he's ignored whatever you told him), it is a red flag. You don't owe him.
He should be on the same page as you, whatever that may be
It's either just a first date or it's a hook-up. You either want to slowly get to know each other or test drive that car first. If you two are not on the same page about this, what's the point of even wasting a couple of hours staring at each other's faces? As Harvey Specter said, "You can't have it both ways."
What are his views on...
Books, music, politics, things that matter to you. I am not saying you will be able to figure out everything about someone based on a Tinder profile or some subsequent social media stalking, but please do stalk him, it's legit. What if he's a homophobe or hates dogs? You don't want that kind of negativity in your life.
What does he have to say about his exes?
A past relationship may not have worked out for various reasons, but if he says all his exes were crazy it either means he is not over his past relationship or that he is secretly pretentious and feels he is flawless. Similarly, being chums with your exes is also super strange. Either way, nope.
He is patient
Yes. The building block of a relationship is not love or trust as cinema has made you believe, it's patience. Plans change, things come up, the earth revolves around the sun, not him. Right?
(With inputs from Seema Hingorrany, clinical psychologist, author.)