Got yourself a sanskari naari and don't like those countelss rituals? Time to rethink your relationship Illustration: Tapasri Saha
The key here is not to look for Miss RIGHT but to avoid Miss WRONG. To make your life easier, we've got some cues for you. Here are five types of girlfriends you must absolutely AVOID:
Makes you a phone recharge bhaiya
She may be busy with her girl gang all the time, in class or at work, giving you limited or no attention. But when she needs help, you'll be her go-to person — right from asking you to recharge her mobile phone balance every other day (without bothering to pay back), getting class notes photocopied to going to a restaurant and keeping her purse-strings totally sealed. She loves being a damsel in distress. Okay, she calls you 'bhaiya' laced with lust, making your heart skip a beat, but you will soon realise that you are nothing more than a matter of convenience for her. The matters of the heart don't really matter to her.
Gets sloshed at every party
You have to end up being a nanny. This one's been a veteran in the pub circuit ever since she reached drinking age. She never settles at 'happy high'. She overdoes it every damn time. The result: at the end of every date and every party, you end up being her personal janitor, cleaning up her puke. And you don't want to ever thank god cuz it's Friday. What if you leave her in this state? You are not chivalrous enough. What if you ask her to pipe down? You are an MCP, questioning her choice. So, take our word and run, before she can say rum.
Is your high school headmistress re-incarnated
Now this one's on the other end of the spectrum. Straight out of an army cantonment, she swears by the word discipline — be it for what she wears, what she says, what she eats and when she does what. She worships perfection, and you don't dare mess with her routine. Forget missing important dates, you can't even afford to arrive late. 6 pm means 6, not six-o-one. What if you turn up late? Hell hath no fury like Miss Punctual kept waiting. She'll unleash the dos and don'ts of life upon you in a farrago of angry vocab that'll put Shashi Tharoor to shame.
Is clingy and how
Being attached is one thing. Being possessive can also be cute. But being clingy is like putting one in a box and sealing the open ends. A relationship with someone who's clingy to the extent that she never ever, ever lets you be, can get extremely claustrophobic. Space is something she's never heard of. Me time? What's that? For her, a rosy love life is all about sticking to each other, always. Whether you are in college, at the gym, hanging out with your BFF or in the loo. Eeks!
Is sanskari to the power of infinity
Now, this one is tricky. Okay, so we mean serious sanskari here. You know the kind for whom even holding hands is 'haraam', forget stealing a kiss. She is vegetarian on Mondays for Shiv, on Tuesdays for Hanuman, on Thursdays for Laxmi, and on Fridays, she be like 'Main toh aarti utaroongi, Jai Santoshi Maata ki'. Saturdays are the dreaded Shani Dev's day, so don't even dare mess with her. Wednesdays she keeps moun vrat and Sunday is fast day. Say bye-bye to Mojitos, you only get to raise a toast of Ganga jal after that Karwa Chauth ka vrath, which she expects you to keep, too, by the way. Else, you aren't loving enough. *Tujhe dekha toh yeh jaana sanammmm*. Well, pyaar might be deewana, but if you're not Pahlaj Nihalani, you would know ab yahan se kahan jayen hum. Out of her life, pronto.