No point giving your bae an ugly surprise Image: Thinkstock
Have you ever watched First Dates? The British reality TV show, filmed at a Central London eatery, features people meeting for the first time on a date. After the date, the couple is interviewed together and asked if they would like to see each other again. A recent episode caught my eye. It was about a beauty therapist, Eve Betts, who revealed to her date Jordan that she suffers from alopecia and, soon after, bared her bald head to him. She recalled how she was bullied in school, which is why she had never removed her wig on a date. Jordan reassured Eve that she looked great without the wig, calling her ‘beautiful’ and ‘unique’. Eve got teary-eyed and so did I. Not because it was a successful date, but because Eve dared to be real.
Whether to expose our not-so flattering aspects, especially in front of a person we are kinda trying to impress, is a dilemma many of us face. It could be as simple as 'she likes black coffee, I like kadak chai, but to make her happy I always drink coffee with her'. Or, 'I am dark-skinned, so I always put on extra makeup when meeting him'. From choices of food, books, movies and poetry to body and health issues, or even past relationships, people often tend to hide stuff in their effort to remain perfect before that special someone.
Relationship experts say that being fake is the first step towards a doomed relationship. While there are many reasons behind that, here's your quick, go-to list on why it is completely okay to be real with the person you are dating.
Loss of trust = loss of love
Every 'performance' has a shelf life. So, if you're acting as someone other than yourself, that bubble is going to burst soon.
Relationship expert Jai Madaan says, "You can act or try to be fake for a couple of weeks or months, but that's it. When they realise your true self, they'll be crestfallen. They will be like, 'oh you're not like that'. And then, they will never trust you again. If you are real, you don't have to make an effort to remember it. Because that's who you are."
Being real is sexy, cuz not everyone is
The more honest, upfront and blunt you are, the more attractive you will be to the other person. Eve and Jordan's episode from First Dates is clear proof. Wonder why? Because it's a rare quality. We hardly find people who are honest, who are not scared to be what they are. People fall in love with such qualities. Take our word for it.
Childlike charm works like magic
Being real is almost like being childlike. Think about it. Why do we love children? Or, pets for that matter? Because they are 100 per cent natural. They haven't learnt how to fake it yet, and we love them the way they are. And trust them.
Madaan says, "If you are the way you are, when you are not acting, not faking, or holding a mask, the other person is bound to fall in love with you. The fact that you are completely comfortable in your skin is what makes the other person feel more accepted in a relationship. And this doesn't only deepen the love, but also escalates into respect, which is very important for a healthy relationship."
Now that sounds reassuring, doesn't it? No more fake pleasing, no more heavy makeup to hide those pigmentation marks. And no more suppressing that fart either. You read that right. So, get real NOW, if you haven't already, and let your SO be blown away by the magic that you are.