Allah, we, too, have a lot of duhai against this Race 3 song Image: SKF
We're coming back to the race. We have been hearing this for a decade now. If you guys are still not there, you're doing something terribly wrong.
The year was 2008 and Abbas-Mustan delivered a promising film with glam and show-sha as white as their spotless white clothes #SafediKiChamkar. And of course, the whole cast had a lot of duhai (complaints) to file to Allah.
From the betabi they felt to their pyaar mein tadapna, they ranted it all out to God. We're fine with it. It was a peppy song and chest-thumps were in... back then. *facepalm *
Thump it like it's hot, thump it like it's hot, thump it like it's hot GIF: Giphy
Then came disgRace... err... Race 2 (2013), and this was the first time they were getting back to the race with a new cast. Cool. But then again, they whined to Allah about the bewafais and how trapped they felt as rihai from that love was a real tough deal – who told you guys to get into that kind of toxic love in the first place? Britney?
Can't take our eyes off Saif and John GIF: NanOsh
And now, they are AGAIN back to the race with Race 3 (2018), but this time around, Bhai is leading the pack. Allah, who is a busy man with a full inbox is forced to hear their duhais. Itni duhai laate kaha se ho, bhai?
Now they are complaining about phir jaan pe aayi hai, and this time it's tabhai. Basically, they are trying to say love hurts and destroys life. No shit Sherlock! It took you guys 10 years to figure that one out? Millennials do it in 10 days. Duh!
They are coming back to the race, AGAIN GIF: Giphy
But duhais are still okay with us. We can cope with that, somehow. How do we cope with the videos? After watching three versions of the song, we sure as hell have a lot of complaints. Sorry Allah, we're going to spam your inbox, too.
Is it just us or has the stiffness quotient of the beefed-up men filing RTI's to Allah has indeed increased over the decade? From Saif-two-left-feet to Salman-no-left-foot-but-a-stiff-effin-body, the song has seen men who just can't dance. Then there was John Abraham somewhere in between, too.
It's only the Bipasha's, Katrina's, Deepika's, Jacqueline's (Jacqueline again in Race 3) and Daisy's chest-thumps that have lent some flexibility to the versions. But give the poor girls some rest. They must be tired.
And, and, and, this time around they had the most effortless-at-dancing Deol to do the hook step, too. We know Bobby is bae, but dude can't dance to save his life (or career).
No Bhai, facepalming isnt going to help GIF: Giphy
And don't even get us started on the duhai list we have for Salman. Man gave us such flexing muscles and pelvic movements and pocket movements and towel movements, et al. And here he looks disinterested AF, about to kill the person right next to him with a constipated face. He's stiffer than Jacqueline's and Katrina's facial expressions combined. What ya, Bhai? We expected better.
The only person who had some Dhina-Dhin-Dha moves to dole out (yup, we're are looking at Anil Kapoor) was made to just stand and look all serious and angry. Hey Anil, what are you brooding over? The fact that you were not able to throw some punches in the air? We feel ya!
Whatever be it, we sincerely hope that this is the last version of the song we ever hear. Cuz we can take it no more. We are filing a petition to stop this 'Race' and the song right here, and request some track change. Are you in?